nice of you to ask

she may actually murder me after this one

J. — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:46:36 +0000

April 29

emily: hi
me: hey
emily: first off… why don’t you update your blog anymore!!!!
me: i knoooow
emily: that was my source of procrastinatory entertainment
now i watch autotune the news

May 3

emily: update your blog already woman
me: no!
im sitting on the couch with pat!
we watched autotune the news, then i showed him some billy mays dubs
emily: nice. still think you should just fucking do it already
me: yeah i should
i could just post billy mays dubs and then you could use those to procrastinate
emily: its not the same

July 8

emily: are you typing up the next entry to your blog?
me: heck no!
i will soon tho….but i wrote one entry!
emily: you always make me wait so long
me: i knooow…last month i was just lazy, i actually had a few things to write about
emily: whatever

August 22

emily: i am just reminding you
you have a blog…f-ing use it.
me: but my most recent post was about blowjobs! that must count as at least 3 posts!

November 7

emily: could you seriously put a fucking move on it and post already
me: hahahaha
i’ve been posting every day, i just made it so you’re blocked from the blog
emily: no way
me: i’m posting secret things about you that you cant see
emily: i hate you and you lie
i hope that you step on a tack

November 9

emily: i will eat you next time i see you if you don’t post some bullshit on your blog
me: mmm. with ketchup?
yummmmm
emily: do it!

I love you gorgeous!

hello lover

J. — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 11:02:57 +0000

Wow I was drunk for the last post. Four beers with Pat and no real dinner. Thanks for clarifying that babies grow inside the mommy, Julia. Still in awe of pregnancy though.

I love fall. The leaves need to change big time, and I could deal with some 50 degree instead of 60 degree weather.

Tonight I celebrated fall by listening to my indestructible autumn playlist and making pasta with butternut squash and sage. It was fab – my roommate confirmed. I used this Mark Bittman recipe as inspiration, just added the sage. It made me happy.

Ingredients

1 pound peeled and seeded butternut squash (start with a whole squash weighing about 1 1/2 pounds)
Salt to taste
2 tablespoons butter or olive oil
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 pound cut pasta, like ziti
1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg, or to taste
1 teaspoon sugar, optional
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan

Method

1. Cut squash into chunks, and place in food processor. Pulse machine on and off until squash looks grated. (Alternatively, grate or chop the squash by hand.) Set a large pot of salted water to boil for the pasta.
2. Place a large skillet over medium heat, and add the butter or oil. A minute later, add the squash, salt, pepper and about 1/2 cup of water. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Add water, about 1/4 cup at a time, as the mixture dries out, being careful not to make it soupy. When the squash begins to disintegrate, after about 10 or 15 minutes, begin cooking the pasta. While it cooks, season the squash with the nutmeg, sugar if necessary, and additional salt and pepper if needed.
3. When the pasta is tender, scoop out about 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid, then drain. Toss it in the skillet with the squash, adding the reserved cooking water if the mixture seems dry. Taste, and adjust the salt, pepper or nutmeg as you like; then, toss with the cheese and serve.
My favorite fall songs this year:
autumn song by van morrison
waterloo sunset by the kinks

autumn almanac by the kinks

black coffee by peggy lee

diamonds and rust by joan baez

it’s all over now baby blue by bob dylan

ooh la la by the faces

autumn in new york by billie holiday

wild world by cat stevens

naked if i want to by cat power

warm love by van morrison

who knows where the time goes by fairport convention

harvest moon by neil young

empire state of mind by jay-z

two weeks by grizzly bear

all the trees of the field will clap their hands by sufjan stevens

the transfiguration by sufjan stevens

sunny afternoon by the kinks

days by the kinks

dedicated follower of fashion by the kinks

nothing in the world can stop me worrying ’bout that girl by the kinks

come thou fount of every blessing by sufjan stevens

psycho stalker

J. — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:40:14 +0000

My Mormon. I haven’t talked about her, or anything else for that matter, in a while. I’m still very much into her blog…it’s hard to explain. She is quite a good writer some of the time, I will say. And her life is just fascinating to me. She doesn’t ever drink coffee (I actually didn’t either till about four months ago – I was a tea drinker – now I’m a coffee addict) and she never ever drinks alcohol (I am drunk as I write this). And the whole no-sex thing, and who knows what else. Mormonism is fascinating to me, really. Aside from the whole anti-gay and anti-reproductive rights thing…I might be able to get behind it. Except, also, for the polygamy in the afterlife deal. And probably a few other things.

I just adore this girl, though. Am in awe of her stay-at-home-wife life. Love her clothes and her posts about makeup. Like some of her photos and love hearing what she’s up to.

Her close friend is pregnant and due to have her baby any second now. (All Mormon wives have blogs, this is how I know about this pregnancy – from what I can tell, when they get married, they start blogging, and then after that they start having sex .) So I know about this from her friend’s blog, and can I just say, I’m astounded by pregnancy. It’s just an insane fact of life. It doesn’t make any sense, and at the same time, nothing else has ever made more sense. You put two people together and they create a third person. The third person grows inside of one of them, the mother, and after a period of time, the mother’s body knows that it’s time for the new person to come out.

Really? I mean, can I get a What the fuck?! It’s so nuts, but it happens every minute of every day. It’s so crazy, and so fucking amazing.

It’s cramazing.

rescue

J. — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 03:36:08 +0000

Rescue Beauty Lounge in Concrete Jungle.

harvest moon

J. — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:10:14 +0000

Today I listened to this perfect fall song, bought a housewarming gift, and came home and made a pork chop with lemon-tarragon “sauce,” spinach and rice. I washed it down with Harvest Moon seasonal beer from Blue Moon. I took a picture, but it is backwards.

long-term goal

J. — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 23:47:46 +0000

Someday I want to gift someone with tickets to a TED conference.

food glorious food

J. — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:23:58 +0000

I’ve been cooking. For starters, I want to have five or six recipes I feel really good about. I like Mark Bittman’s book How to Cook Everything. His whole attitude is, dude, don’t tell me you can’t cook. Anyone can cook. Now cook something. Two good things I make:

Braised broccoli with garlic and wine – super easy and personally I think braising things is fun. The idea of it is slightly fancy I think, but it’s super simple. Plus any activity that involves pouring wine all over something is A-OK in my book. You can make of that what you will.

Spicy broiled or grilled shrimp. I broil it because I don’t have a grill. And I don’t really do what he says…I use Old Bay seasoning instead of paprika and cayenne pepper. I’m pretty sure Old Bay has both of those in it anyway. Plus Old Bay and shrimp are best friends, like chocolate and peanut butter or peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter, raisins and celery. Peanut butter has a lot of friends. Not surprising if you ask me.

I need a working camera, but next time I make these I’m going to take pictures with Photo Booth. Won’t that be thrilling!

get in the kitchn

J. — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:27:30 +0000

I never write in this blog. Oops. I recommend that you go to this blog instead. I love that goddamn website, and they update all the time.

I made a recipe of theirs the other night: pasta with sage and brown butter. I did my own version of it, read: I fucked it up a little. I don’t really know how to brown butter, and I’m okay with that…for now.

Apartment Therapy is great too, though it makes me feel sloppy and uncreative sometimes. I did swipe an idea from them. I guess it’s not really swiping when the website is there to give you ideas for your apartment. Behold, the new and improved non-working fireplace in my living room. This picture is blatantly stolen from my roommate’s Twitter page!

Also. I got Netflix this weekend. LIFE UPGRADE! The first movie I watched with it (online) was Swingers. Tomorrow I’m getting Death in Gaza (an amazing BBC documentary that I haven’t seen in a long time) and The Panic in Needle Park which I’ve never seen. My queue is so random. So exciting.

currently working on a catchy jingle

J. — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:24:13 +0000

There should be a credit rating system that evaluates your whole life instead of just your finances. You could check it every so often and find out how you’re doing in terms of your financial credit, but also how you smell, how attractive others find you, how uncomfortable you make them in social situations. There would be a tally of how many awkward things you’ve said since you last checked and short paragraphs describing what your coworkers really think of you and what it’s like to live with you. Just an overall “How’s my driving?” type of analysis. I can’t be the first person who’s thought of this, but I’ve thought about it a lot over the past few days. Am I forgetting about something?

thirty-one

J. — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:17:15 +0000

Driving up the street with Mom and Dad.

Mom: Oh look, there’s that guy who’s always walking all over town. Ichabod!

Me: His name is Ichabod?

Mom: No, that’s just what I like to call him. He’s tall and skinny.

Dad: He runs, also. He runs and walks.

Mom: No, he’s a walker. I’ve never seen him running.

Dad: No, he runs.

Mom: I’ve never seen him running.

Dad: He runs! Ray’s seen him running too!

Mom: No, I see him walking all the time, but I have never once seen that man running! Julia, sometimes he even reads while walking.

Dad: Kate! We have established that you’ve seen him walking! I’m telling you that I have seen him running in addition to seeing him walking!

Mom: Maybe he just runs when he sees you coming. I bet that’s it.

Dad: Oh, that’s funny. Nice.